There are good reasons for regulating children’s reading: it is foundational and formational and may be enforced by school choice or being read aloud to. Perhaps this is a reflection of the sensitivity read’s origins in children’s and young adult fiction. Writing, they imply, should represent the world as it ought to be, not as it is. All of these things are, for my Readers, “hurtful” notions of mine, not unfortunate facts. Nor should I say that more middle-class than working-class children go to university nor that Foetal Alcohol Syndrome leaves children unable to progress nor that a long tight dress restricts movement. More from this author What lockdown took from my parents Extending the principle of sunny improvement into the present, Wordsearch List breaks out of their list to make the helpful suggestion that I should remove references to terrorism from across the book, as it “over-sensationalises such a heavy topic, especially with minors involved”. I am enjoined not to quote from My Ántonia by Willa Cather, as it is “an old novel” nor to state that homosexuality has historically been taboo in Nepal, as homophobia comes from colonialism nor to mention that the Taliban were terrorists. There are similar injunctions throughout the text. Excel Reader is kind enough to acknowledge this - “the author has chosen to reproduce contemporary dialogue which may not … reflect brilliantly on her” - but the other Readers seem to concur that the past should match an idealised present, in the same way that Anne of Green Gables, say, got a gay best friend when she went on Netflix. But in 1992, people were still dying in large numbers from AIDS, and I would have urged all young people to use condoms. The preceding passage “comes across as homophobic” and is an LGBTQ infraction Level 2. I make, my Readers agree, a “reductive” and “rogue” remark. You have to promise me to always use a condom and never get AIDS.’ Fortunately, it was only twenty minutes or so before he came back out of the crowd and grasped his beer. What would happen to Liam among all those strong bodies? What would happen to his body? He was too young to understand you only got one. … a new kind of pain, a physical, chesty anxiety that I was not to experience again until I watched my own children walk along ledges or cross a busy road. And they set up a chorus about what I feel and say after Liam hits the dance floor and I note: They are concerned, rather, that I might be boasting about helping a young gay person: “Straight white saviour trope”, suggests Wordsearch List, “could be problematic”. None of these sensitive issues, though - raised at length in the book - worry the Readers. I was very worried about doing this at the time even though Liam had just left school, I still felt like his teacher, and I worry even more now, when teachers no longer take 18-year-olds to the pub and are much more aware of influence and consent. After end-of-term drinks, a favourite student, Liam, comes out to me and then asks me to take him to G.A.Y - because, he says, no one else in his world would know where it was. More from this author You can't cancel poetry There is even a particular passage, the only one in the book, on which the whole Reader crowd comments and concurs. Perhaps this is because all of the Readers seem to be experts on sexuality and gender, and resisting homophobia is one of my themes. These mostly occur in the first part of my book, which is set in the Nineties. Given this diversity, it seems reasonable to start with areas of agreement. To add to the cacophony, the Readers contradict each other freely, even praising and disparaging the same passages. ![]() One suggests the authors of endorsements containing the words “love” and “humanity” might want to “rethink their stance”. Still others focus on issues around the presentation of the book. Others have grander ambitions: paragraphs, sub-sections and even entire chapters should be revised. Nor should I use “handicap” in its ordinary sense of “impede” (infraction level 2, serious) and I should prefer the acronym “SEN” to its origin phrase, special educational needs, because it is more inclusive (infraction level 2). One Reader fusspots around single words: I should not use “disfigure” of a landscape (infraction level 3, as presumably comparing bings - spoil heaps - to boils might be harmful to acne sufferers).
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